Have I really been told I have breast cancer?

It all seems a bit surreal. I'm not quite sure what I expected - to feel different perhaps? I don't feel different though. Apart from a sore and bruised boob and thinking every ache and pain is cancer, I'm still me and life goes on.

I have to put it in perspective. I've got it, I can't change that, I just have to deal with it in the most effective way. The worst part has been seeing people I love and care for in pain, because they don't want me to suffer. That's when the tears come for me, when I think of my family and friends' pain. I'm glad it's me that's having the treatment, I think that's easier to cope with in some ways.

Mum went back home Thursday lunchtime. Work very kindly said I could take all the time I needed and I did need it. I was able to go to pieces on my own, very noisily, very messily (is that a word?) and it made me feel better. My kids'll tell you how easily I cry - ask them about Bicentennial Man! I'm getting very good at switching it off before it starts now though.

Plan to go back to work on Monday.