It's been a strange week.
This time hasn't been as bad as the last, but still not pleasant. The fog came down and my limbs felt like they were glued to the floor. Aching all over, but no constant bone pain - the occasional twinge, but that didn't last long. I was a good girl this time and took paracetamol, so I'm sure that helped. No significant temperature this time either. The usual stale taste and raging thirst, sensitive finger and toe nails, hands and feet. One strange side effect is my teeth - they don't feel like they're mine, they don't seem to fit in my mouth properly (told you it's strange!). Once all this starts to subside, I feel better, but seem to reach a plateau. So, I still feel a bit rough and don't seem to improve for a while. The extra special bit about this half of the treatment is the tears. At the moment, I can cry for England. Even if someone trips up on TV, I'm in floods of tears. I'm not sure if it's a side effect of the Docetaxel or just me at this stage of the game. Most of the family have experienced wet shoulders and cheeks so far! I hate this sh*t for what it's doing to me and my family and friends.
Mum was persuaded to go back home on Thursday instead of Sunday. I'd looked at the weather on the Sky app on the phone when I woke up and there was a threat of snow in Cornwall on the Friday. I checked with the met office when I got up and it was definitely a possibility. Dad had already checked with us that, in the event of snow, we were able to put Mum up for longer as the cold spell is supposed to last for a couple of weeks at least. After we were satisfied that Thursday would be ok for her to travel, she got herself sorted and set off. Mum HATES the snow and won't walk in it, let alone drive in it. I knew she'd prefer to be stuck in at home and Dad would miss her if she didn't go back. She made it home no problem, although they'd had snow in Cornwall earlier on in the day. Typically, they didn't have any on Friday. Never mind, it didn't matter, as long as she got back ok.
It's freezing outside and I haven't stepped out of the door for over a week. Today, however, my darling husband took me for a walk. I wrapped up warm - 2 hats, no makeup just lippy (ha ha - just read that back - I did wear warm clothes too!) and we walked alongside a beautifully frozen canal. We only walked about a mile, but it was long enough and felt good. On the way back, we stopped off at the shop and enjoyed hot chocolate and doughnuts when we got home (shared with the boys, Liv was out - no, still not at work). Adam has managed to come down with a virus - cough, cold, temperature, so he's been dosed up and I'm trying to steer clear. He has GCSE controlled assessments at school this week, so I hope he feels better soon. Although, if the anticipated snow arrives on Tuesday/Wednesday, he won't be in school anyway. Vaughan also has GCSE exams, so I don't know what will happen if school is closed.
Mr Tins is busying himself cooking duck breasts for tea (courtesy of Mum), the boys are doing their homework and we're waiting for Liv to grace us with her presence. No tears from me since this morning, so the walk obviously did me good - either that or the cold has frozen my tear ducts......!
Sunday, 28 November 2010
Saturday, 20 November 2010
Chemo #5
The week leading up to my last chemo hasn't been too bad. Chris had Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday off, in order to go to various appointments with me and also for him. Tuesday saw us both at the RUH. He had his respiratory clinic review and I went into the chemo suite to have my bloods taken. The day didn't start off brilliantly really. We'd decided to spoil ourselves and go out for breakfast. Problem was, we'd both forgotten it was District Nurse day and we only remembered as we were about to set off in the car! So it was back in the house and wait until after midday before she arrived (toast and coffee had to suffice!). The PICC line flush went through ok, so I just had to worry about the afternoon bloods. Chris went off to his appointment and I went off to mine. No problem at all with mine, Fiona managed to get it first time - no bowl of warm water as I'd worn a glove right up until they were taken. She thought I was looking well - amazing what the steroids can do!
Managed a bit of exercise at the RUH - Chris' 1st appointment was on the second floor, then the next was on the ground floor and then back up to the second floor (all by stairs, of course!). All was fine there too and we got back home around 6ish. Helped by a friend picking Adam up and Liv, who picked up Vaughan after a 35 -0 rugby win at a school match (and he scored a try!).
Managed breakfast on Wednesday though! Liv, who wasn't at college deigned to come with us and moaned most of the time (does that ever stop???). Then she dragged us round some shops in the pouring rain. Ah well, Chris and I enjoyed our full english! We came home and they promptly fell asleep while I was busy playing with my new electric toothbrush (a grateful prezzy from Auntie Marjorie) - chemo etc plays havoc with your teeth!
Mum was due up on Wednesday, ready for the next onslaught. Unfortunately, the weather in Cornwall had been foul and the only 2 decent roads out of the county were closed. So that was put off until Thursday and she duly arrived with food parcels!
Thursday was blast day again - chemo number 5. As everyone keeps saying to me - only one more to go, but as I still have to go through it and get over each one, it still seems like there's a way to go. I know there isn't, but I'll be happier when I've got over the last one. We came home and found a letter from the hospital with my radiotherapy dates! Nice surprise. At least, nice surprise knowing when it's going to be - of course, I haven't been through it yet, so I don't know if it will be "nice"! My first appointment is on the 21st December. This (I think), is to tattoo me and plan my treatment. Then it all kicks off on the 5th January (would be my Granny's 101st birthday!) to the 2nd of February - Monday to Friday - 4 weeks of treatment. I can discuss it more with the Oncologist on the 8th December (2 days before my last chemo), so will hopefully know more then.
Although I felt a bit "jangly" on Friday, I felt like going out. By the time I'd got up and in between various injections and medications, Mum and I only managed to get out to Leekes! A quick trip and she had to go and pick up the boys.
A nice surprise followed in the evening when Livi text to say she had something to tell me (!!!). I managed to persuade her not to wait until she got home. She's had her lip pierced (well it's a stud just under her lip)! Naturally, she'd though it through thoroughly. She can't work until she can take the stud out (about 3 weeks). Great for her Christmas finances! Yes, yes, I know she'll grow out of it, but I ask you!!
Today, Saturday, I've been flagging. I even fell asleep during the England Samoa match! Although I'm not feeling horrendous, I'm tired and heavy limbed. I went out with Chris for a paper this morning, but I'm not sure yet what tomorrow will bring. So on that note, I'll say TTFN and post when I can.......
Managed a bit of exercise at the RUH - Chris' 1st appointment was on the second floor, then the next was on the ground floor and then back up to the second floor (all by stairs, of course!). All was fine there too and we got back home around 6ish. Helped by a friend picking Adam up and Liv, who picked up Vaughan after a 35 -0 rugby win at a school match (and he scored a try!).
Managed breakfast on Wednesday though! Liv, who wasn't at college deigned to come with us and moaned most of the time (does that ever stop???). Then she dragged us round some shops in the pouring rain. Ah well, Chris and I enjoyed our full english! We came home and they promptly fell asleep while I was busy playing with my new electric toothbrush (a grateful prezzy from Auntie Marjorie) - chemo etc plays havoc with your teeth!
Mum was due up on Wednesday, ready for the next onslaught. Unfortunately, the weather in Cornwall had been foul and the only 2 decent roads out of the county were closed. So that was put off until Thursday and she duly arrived with food parcels!
Thursday was blast day again - chemo number 5. As everyone keeps saying to me - only one more to go, but as I still have to go through it and get over each one, it still seems like there's a way to go. I know there isn't, but I'll be happier when I've got over the last one. We came home and found a letter from the hospital with my radiotherapy dates! Nice surprise. At least, nice surprise knowing when it's going to be - of course, I haven't been through it yet, so I don't know if it will be "nice"! My first appointment is on the 21st December. This (I think), is to tattoo me and plan my treatment. Then it all kicks off on the 5th January (would be my Granny's 101st birthday!) to the 2nd of February - Monday to Friday - 4 weeks of treatment. I can discuss it more with the Oncologist on the 8th December (2 days before my last chemo), so will hopefully know more then.
Although I felt a bit "jangly" on Friday, I felt like going out. By the time I'd got up and in between various injections and medications, Mum and I only managed to get out to Leekes! A quick trip and she had to go and pick up the boys.
A nice surprise followed in the evening when Livi text to say she had something to tell me (!!!). I managed to persuade her not to wait until she got home. She's had her lip pierced (well it's a stud just under her lip)! Naturally, she'd though it through thoroughly. She can't work until she can take the stud out (about 3 weeks). Great for her Christmas finances! Yes, yes, I know she'll grow out of it, but I ask you!!
Today, Saturday, I've been flagging. I even fell asleep during the England Samoa match! Although I'm not feeling horrendous, I'm tired and heavy limbed. I went out with Chris for a paper this morning, but I'm not sure yet what tomorrow will bring. So on that note, I'll say TTFN and post when I can.......
Saturday, 13 November 2010
Although it's been a quiet week, it's passed surprisingly quickly.
I've been more tired this week than I was during the last 2 cycles of chemo. Whether that's the new chemo drug or just a build up of the last 4 cycles, I don't know. Have also been a bit down - to be expected during chemo, I'm told. Crying at the drop of a hat is becoming a bit too common - dramas, documentaries, books, oh yeah and the fact I have cancer, the treatment's horrid and I'll always be looking over my shoulder for it to re-surface (not sure I'll ever be convinced that it's all gone). I'm fat, bald, only have one boob and as a result, have nothing "nice" to wear (yes, I'm wallowing!).
It's not all been tears, honest. On Wednesday, my lovely daughter drove me to hospital for an appointment to sort out medications for the next round of chemo. We drove the long way round and she did very well - you'd think she'd been driving for ages. It's the first time she's been with me to hospital. Up until this point, I've never seen anyone in there that I know. Would you believe it, the day Livi comes with me, we saw 2 girls that she used to go to primary school with! Medications sorted, we drove back and stopped for lunch at our local garden centre (cracking coffee).
I had visitors on Thursday - H and baby Jessica. Jessica's really changing now. She was smiling and gurgling away as she was propped up on cushions on the chair with her Mum. It was nice catching up with H.
Friday was statlock change day, woohoo :-(. True to form, the old one took part of my skin with it and the new one was laid on top. At least I have a week to get over it before it's changed again. My arm is blistering too now where the gauze dressing is taped on. Little I can do about that - just have to keep changing the position of the tape.
About an hour after the district nurse had been, I had another visitor. It was lovely to see Rob. Caught up a little on work, life and good things to watch on DVD and TV.
Early evening saw a trip to the surgery for the kids to have their 'flu jabs (thanks Catherine and Linda). Chris had his earlier on in the week (all for my benefit!). Nice to see Deb R, Judy, Deb J, Catherine and Linda during our brief visit.
Today, we were supposed to go out for a nice walk, but we didn't quite get there. Pleased really as we got to see England's brilliant rugby win against Australia, 35-18! Had it on surround sound and sang and cheered with the Twickenham crowd (well I did anyway!).
And now it's time for our Indian (meal that is!).
So you see, it's not been that bad really - I just have to convince myself mentally that that's the case..........
I've been more tired this week than I was during the last 2 cycles of chemo. Whether that's the new chemo drug or just a build up of the last 4 cycles, I don't know. Have also been a bit down - to be expected during chemo, I'm told. Crying at the drop of a hat is becoming a bit too common - dramas, documentaries, books, oh yeah and the fact I have cancer, the treatment's horrid and I'll always be looking over my shoulder for it to re-surface (not sure I'll ever be convinced that it's all gone). I'm fat, bald, only have one boob and as a result, have nothing "nice" to wear (yes, I'm wallowing!).
It's not all been tears, honest. On Wednesday, my lovely daughter drove me to hospital for an appointment to sort out medications for the next round of chemo. We drove the long way round and she did very well - you'd think she'd been driving for ages. It's the first time she's been with me to hospital. Up until this point, I've never seen anyone in there that I know. Would you believe it, the day Livi comes with me, we saw 2 girls that she used to go to primary school with! Medications sorted, we drove back and stopped for lunch at our local garden centre (cracking coffee).
I had visitors on Thursday - H and baby Jessica. Jessica's really changing now. She was smiling and gurgling away as she was propped up on cushions on the chair with her Mum. It was nice catching up with H.
Friday was statlock change day, woohoo :-(. True to form, the old one took part of my skin with it and the new one was laid on top. At least I have a week to get over it before it's changed again. My arm is blistering too now where the gauze dressing is taped on. Little I can do about that - just have to keep changing the position of the tape.
About an hour after the district nurse had been, I had another visitor. It was lovely to see Rob. Caught up a little on work, life and good things to watch on DVD and TV.
Early evening saw a trip to the surgery for the kids to have their 'flu jabs (thanks Catherine and Linda). Chris had his earlier on in the week (all for my benefit!). Nice to see Deb R, Judy, Deb J, Catherine and Linda during our brief visit.
Today, we were supposed to go out for a nice walk, but we didn't quite get there. Pleased really as we got to see England's brilliant rugby win against Australia, 35-18! Had it on surround sound and sang and cheered with the Twickenham crowd (well I did anyway!).
And now it's time for our Indian (meal that is!).
So you see, it's not been that bad really - I just have to convince myself mentally that that's the case..........
Sunday, 7 November 2010
Crack on!
Welcome to the next installment of "What can we throw at Tracey now?"!
Somebody somewhere is thinking "right, she's getting a bit stronger now, what else can we give her to knock her back a bit?".
Friday was District Nurse day. It was nice to see a familiar face. I showed Yvonne the bruises I'd been inflicting upon myself with the Clexane injection and she wondered how I'd been doing it. Turns out I hadn't been finishing it off properly! Once you've injected all the drug, you continue pushing down, which releases a tube. This shoots out and retracts the needle, so you don't have to pull it out. This is easier said than done. It takes an effort to push it so the tube clicks out. So (picture this - well maybe not), each time I'm sitting on the bed, jabbing myself with this needle, pushing the drug through and then trying to push down further on the plunger, without pushing the needle further into my tummy. Yes, it is a sight! Anyway, practice makes perfect and I have plenty of opportunity for that.
Whilst changing the statlock, it was also noticed that the entry site for the line looks red again (oh great, more antibiotics?). Yvonne wanted me to ring the Chemo Suite just to ask their advice, which I duly did. I spoke to Karen, who said she'd need to see it to make any judgement. However, as I wasn't too concerned and the redness hadn't (and still hasn't) spread, wasn't hot, sore or hard, she was happy for me to keep an eye on it. Came off the phone thinking, well, that's ok, with any luck I won't have to call the Out of Hours medical team........................how wrong was I (and it's not what you think)????????
Friday evening, Chris got fish and chips for us all, to give Mum a night off! I didn't know if I'd eat it all, but was going to give it a good go! Just after I'd started tucking in (and was really enjoying it), I was chewing away and felt a hard lump in my mouth. It definitely wasn't fish or chip..............it was my tooth! I'd cracked off a bit of tooth at the back of my mouth. It wasn't a huge chunk, but it left a sharp jagged edge on the tooth which my tongue found easy to rub against. Oh bloody brilliant!! I was really enjoying my fish and chips up until that point.
Right. What to do now? After various discussions, I decided to ring the ward and ask their advice. The junior sister I spoke to told me that it was not a good time for me, as I'm going through my neutropenic phase (cracking your tooth isn't a good time for anyone at any stage!). She said I could ring the emergency dental team and see what they say, but I'm not allowed to have any invasive procedures or any injections and that I'd need to have bloods taken before anything was done anyway, to check my neutrophil count. It's a catch 22 situation really. I may get an infection in the tooth in it's present state, or I may get an infection if I have anything done about it. Mmmmmm........Anyway, I rang the Out of Hours number and eventually talked to a triage dental nurse, who booked me an appointment to see the emergency dentist the next day.
So, that's where Mum and I spent part of the afternoon on Saturday, whilst the rest of the family went to North Petherton to visit family and watch the carnival (I'm sure you have more of that to come from an excitable Mr Tins on his blog!). The dentist was a really nice understanding Scottish lady. She didn't know her way around the treatment room and the dental nurse kept telling her what the other dentists do and how unusual she was as the others didn't do that! Not a match made in heaven, but they did what they could for me. This included filing the tooth down a bit and sticking a filling in. The filling was stuck in, not drilled in and may not last long. The good news though, is that the original filling in the tooth is still intact, so there's no emergency in getting it filled properly. That said, she did say to get it sorted as soon as I can. This looks likely to be in my 3rd week, if my neutrophil count is ok and I can get an appointment with my own dentist!
Today was a quiet day for everyone except Chris and Mum. They didn't get in until 01:00 and then Chris had to take Vaughan and a friend over to Swindon for 10:00 for a rugby match (they lost 43 - 24!). The rest of us slobbed around and ate bacon butties courtesy of Mum. There was just time for her to rustle up a choc krispies thing for the kids, check my dressing and do a Sainsbury's shop for me, before heading off home (hopefully in time for the last Downton Abbey)!
Chris is busy in the kitchen serving up a roast chicken dinner, so I think it's time I stopped now and gave it the time and effort it deserves!
x
Somebody somewhere is thinking "right, she's getting a bit stronger now, what else can we give her to knock her back a bit?".
Friday was District Nurse day. It was nice to see a familiar face. I showed Yvonne the bruises I'd been inflicting upon myself with the Clexane injection and she wondered how I'd been doing it. Turns out I hadn't been finishing it off properly! Once you've injected all the drug, you continue pushing down, which releases a tube. This shoots out and retracts the needle, so you don't have to pull it out. This is easier said than done. It takes an effort to push it so the tube clicks out. So (picture this - well maybe not), each time I'm sitting on the bed, jabbing myself with this needle, pushing the drug through and then trying to push down further on the plunger, without pushing the needle further into my tummy. Yes, it is a sight! Anyway, practice makes perfect and I have plenty of opportunity for that.
Whilst changing the statlock, it was also noticed that the entry site for the line looks red again (oh great, more antibiotics?). Yvonne wanted me to ring the Chemo Suite just to ask their advice, which I duly did. I spoke to Karen, who said she'd need to see it to make any judgement. However, as I wasn't too concerned and the redness hadn't (and still hasn't) spread, wasn't hot, sore or hard, she was happy for me to keep an eye on it. Came off the phone thinking, well, that's ok, with any luck I won't have to call the Out of Hours medical team........................how wrong was I (and it's not what you think)????????
Friday evening, Chris got fish and chips for us all, to give Mum a night off! I didn't know if I'd eat it all, but was going to give it a good go! Just after I'd started tucking in (and was really enjoying it), I was chewing away and felt a hard lump in my mouth. It definitely wasn't fish or chip..............it was my tooth! I'd cracked off a bit of tooth at the back of my mouth. It wasn't a huge chunk, but it left a sharp jagged edge on the tooth which my tongue found easy to rub against. Oh bloody brilliant!! I was really enjoying my fish and chips up until that point.
Right. What to do now? After various discussions, I decided to ring the ward and ask their advice. The junior sister I spoke to told me that it was not a good time for me, as I'm going through my neutropenic phase (cracking your tooth isn't a good time for anyone at any stage!). She said I could ring the emergency dental team and see what they say, but I'm not allowed to have any invasive procedures or any injections and that I'd need to have bloods taken before anything was done anyway, to check my neutrophil count. It's a catch 22 situation really. I may get an infection in the tooth in it's present state, or I may get an infection if I have anything done about it. Mmmmmm........Anyway, I rang the Out of Hours number and eventually talked to a triage dental nurse, who booked me an appointment to see the emergency dentist the next day.
So, that's where Mum and I spent part of the afternoon on Saturday, whilst the rest of the family went to North Petherton to visit family and watch the carnival (I'm sure you have more of that to come from an excitable Mr Tins on his blog!). The dentist was a really nice understanding Scottish lady. She didn't know her way around the treatment room and the dental nurse kept telling her what the other dentists do and how unusual she was as the others didn't do that! Not a match made in heaven, but they did what they could for me. This included filing the tooth down a bit and sticking a filling in. The filling was stuck in, not drilled in and may not last long. The good news though, is that the original filling in the tooth is still intact, so there's no emergency in getting it filled properly. That said, she did say to get it sorted as soon as I can. This looks likely to be in my 3rd week, if my neutrophil count is ok and I can get an appointment with my own dentist!
Today was a quiet day for everyone except Chris and Mum. They didn't get in until 01:00 and then Chris had to take Vaughan and a friend over to Swindon for 10:00 for a rugby match (they lost 43 - 24!). The rest of us slobbed around and ate bacon butties courtesy of Mum. There was just time for her to rustle up a choc krispies thing for the kids, check my dressing and do a Sainsbury's shop for me, before heading off home (hopefully in time for the last Downton Abbey)!
Chris is busy in the kitchen serving up a roast chicken dinner, so I think it's time I stopped now and gave it the time and effort it deserves!
x
Wednesday, 3 November 2010
Brief update
Promise this is just a brief update! I haven't had a good few days since Friday's chemo and it's only with the help of Ibuprofen that I'm on here now.
As Chris has already told you, I woke up the day after completely "wired" - I couldn't stop talking. Naturally, it didn't last long, I'd crashed by lunchtime.
First couple of days after the Docetaxel were similar. I was very tired and was aching slightly all over. My hands and feet felt a little sore and my nails are quite sensitive (may lose them as well then!).
Monday, however was a different matter! Ouch! Every part of my body ached. I managed to get from the bed to the sofa, but that's about it all day. Joints were sore and my body felt like lead. Not comfortable in bed nor on the sofa, so what do you do? Well, if you're me, you don't take any painkillers and just sit and suffer and try and sleep it off (not the correct action to take, I may add!).
Tuesday, I felt rotten too, although not as sore. So rotten, in fact, that I decided to start taking my temperature. I felt similar to when I had the infection. It started off ok, but by 19:00 it had gradually risen and was up to 38F. Oh great, here we go again. Now I was obsessed. I'd already worked out who would pick up Vaughan from rugby; that this time I would pack a bag; that I would wear gloves to A&E so my hands would be warm to get bloods!
The good news (my god there's good news in all of this??!!) is that it started to come down - 37.7, 37.6. Phew, a reprieve. The problem with this chemo drug is that it makes you feel like you've got an infection, so you don't know for sure if you have or not - are your symptoms part of the reaction to the drug?
Today has been a better day - hence the update. Didn't know where to put myself this morning - I just couldn't get comfortable anywhere. Then good ole ibuprofen came to the rescue! Only problem with this is that you can't rely on an accurate temperature reading, so I took it just after an acceptable one! With Mum re-arranging my cushions, I am comfortable for the first time in days.
I have little appetite (won't do me any harm!), but am eating whatever Mum brings to me. I still have a stale taste in my mouth most of the time. I am hungry though and looking forward to roast chicken tonight.
Apologies if this post doesn't seem to flow right, I've still got a bit of a fog about me! Must go and take my temperature..........
As Chris has already told you, I woke up the day after completely "wired" - I couldn't stop talking. Naturally, it didn't last long, I'd crashed by lunchtime.
First couple of days after the Docetaxel were similar. I was very tired and was aching slightly all over. My hands and feet felt a little sore and my nails are quite sensitive (may lose them as well then!).
Monday, however was a different matter! Ouch! Every part of my body ached. I managed to get from the bed to the sofa, but that's about it all day. Joints were sore and my body felt like lead. Not comfortable in bed nor on the sofa, so what do you do? Well, if you're me, you don't take any painkillers and just sit and suffer and try and sleep it off (not the correct action to take, I may add!).
Tuesday, I felt rotten too, although not as sore. So rotten, in fact, that I decided to start taking my temperature. I felt similar to when I had the infection. It started off ok, but by 19:00 it had gradually risen and was up to 38F. Oh great, here we go again. Now I was obsessed. I'd already worked out who would pick up Vaughan from rugby; that this time I would pack a bag; that I would wear gloves to A&E so my hands would be warm to get bloods!
The good news (my god there's good news in all of this??!!) is that it started to come down - 37.7, 37.6. Phew, a reprieve. The problem with this chemo drug is that it makes you feel like you've got an infection, so you don't know for sure if you have or not - are your symptoms part of the reaction to the drug?
Today has been a better day - hence the update. Didn't know where to put myself this morning - I just couldn't get comfortable anywhere. Then good ole ibuprofen came to the rescue! Only problem with this is that you can't rely on an accurate temperature reading, so I took it just after an acceptable one! With Mum re-arranging my cushions, I am comfortable for the first time in days.
I have little appetite (won't do me any harm!), but am eating whatever Mum brings to me. I still have a stale taste in my mouth most of the time. I am hungry though and looking forward to roast chicken tonight.
Apologies if this post doesn't seem to flow right, I've still got a bit of a fog about me! Must go and take my temperature..........
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)